Out of Hibernation

Hi.  It looks like somehow almost 6 months have slipped by without a peep from me on here.  I intend to blog often.  I write lots of posts in my head while I'm folding laundry and dusting and washing dishes.  Occasionally, I've even logged in and started a post.  I like everything to be in a neat and chronological order though, so instead of just jumping back in I kept trying describe everything that's happened in my life since I last blogged.  A fair amount of time the last few months has been spent dealing with my reproductive health.  That meant that when I tried to write I kept ending up describing my surgeries to remove extensive endometriosis and my now-resolved uterine infection that may have contributed to my miscarriages. 


Nobody wants to read about another person's uterine infection.  No one.  Not even me, and it was my own infection.

So I'd delete everything, write a few witty posts in my head while burning dinner, and come back a week later to write essentially the same post about my surgeries and infection.  I have a habit of waiting to push the "publish" button after I finish writing so that I can reread or edit later.  You're welcome.

Today I'm back with a different tactic.  A compromise with the opposing voices in my head.  I'll provide a short bulleted list of all the health events that relate to the focus of this blog to satisfy the voice that wants all the details in a neat and orderly fashion.  And then I'll share a few bits of wisdom I've learned this week to help out the voice that just wants to jump back into blogging and make people laugh.  If you're here for the fun, just scroll on down!  Here goes:

Medical History

• I had an exploratory laparoscopy in November at the request of my doctor.  She thought my endometriosis may have returned and may have been a factor in my miscarriages.  I was concerned that we were spending money on a surgery that would prove to be unnecessary.

• The surgery showed extensive stage 4 endometriosis throughout my abdominal cavity.  It was too thick and, in some cases, too risky due to placement to remove it with a laser.  The surgery also found the aforementioned uterine Group B Strep infection and several polyps that were removed and found to be benign.  

•  Throughout this time I remained off of all medications that I had previously been on to regulate my hormones.  The fall and winter were.....ummmm....unpredictable around here.  I think I have a fairly good idea of what menopause will be like.  I'm going to pray that will be a short phase of my life.  I would imagine Jon is doing the same.

• I had a second surgery in February to remove the endometriosis.  It was successful and I have only a 7% chance that the adhesions will recur in the same locations.  However, as endometriosis is a chronic disease, it can develop in new locations.  Medication and dietary changes are being implemented in hopes of diminishing the odds of recurrence.  Only time will tell.  My doctor is recommending another laparascopy in 18 months to see if it has come back.

• I am currently being monitored on a monthly basis to see if the medications I am on are doing what they are intended to do.  While we have greatly reduced my risk for miscarriage (endometriosis without any other medical issues carries a 50% chance for miscarriage), there are still improvements to be made before my doctor is okay with us trying to achieve a pregnancy.

• So far, things are looking better, but God likes to change things up just when I think we've got everything figured out.  I continue to pray for more children, but know and accept that His current answer is "not yet" at best and most likely just "no".

What I've learned this week:

• I am not going to teach Meredith how to drive.  In my inexperienced opinion, how you learn to ride a bike is indicative of how you learn to drive.  I have no children of driving age, so I may be completely wrong, but I'm going with that theory for now.  Meredith learned to ride a bike last week.  She hopped right on the bike, trusted without any proof my assurance that she wouldn't fall despite uneven training wheels, zoomed down to the neighbor's driveway, looking behind her at her shadow the whole way.  Remembering to steer and look for obstacles in her path is an issue....for me, not Meredith.  Her biggest concern is that she might be riding fast enough to kill a squirrel.  She doesn't want to kill a squirrel.  I don't think she'll even so much as touch the tail of a squirrel with her bike, but I am concerned that she could do damage to squirrels and more with a car.  I taught her how to ride a bike, so I think Jon can teach her to drive.

• Carbon monoxide detectors show you a range of alarming numbers if you push the "test" button.  The dectector in our basement was chirping one day last week.  I figured it was probably just dying, but thought I'd take the upstairs detector down, just to be sure.  As I did, I decided to push the "test' button to make sure the batteries in that one were working.  It beeped and then started displaying a series of numbers that increased as I descended the stairs.  I freaked out and called Jon to see who to call about a carbon monoxide leak.  As he was trying to decide who to call, he had me take the detector back downstairs.  This time the display didn't budge from zero so I explained how it showed higher numbers when I pushed the test button.  And then Jon explained how that's what the test button is supposed to do.  I'm glad I called him first.  I've called the gas company several times in the past few years thinking I smelled natural gas in the house.  I'm sure I'm on their list of crazy, bored housewives they are required to humor. I didn't need them to put another tick mark next to my name on that list. 

 

• Ask Me Another is a really funny podcast, but might not be the best thing to listen to in public.  This isn't a new show - the archives go back to 2012 and it may have been on the radio longer than that - but it's new to me. It's a NPR show that's sort of a cross between Jeopardy!, GAMES magazine, high school quiz bowls, and Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me.  Yes, I am a nerd.  I've been listening to it while I waddle around town trying to burn off a few pounds from my hips.  It helps pass the time and I look forward to getting to listen to each episode.  However, I am also prone to saying answers out loud and giggling throughout the show.  If you see me wandering around town by myself laughing and shouting out random words, know that I'm listening to Ask Me Another, avert your eyes, and pretend you don't see me.

• Pride goeth before the fall.  I learn this a lot.  Last Wednesday, I was feeling pretty puffed up because I'd managed to get the girls up, out of the house, and to daily Mass in just twenty minutes.   That meant I had time to squeeze in a confession before Mass started and wouldn't have to brave the long lines after Mass on Holy Thursday or Good Friday.  The few pews right next to the confessional were full so I found the girls a spot to sit nearby.  I darted into the confessional, thankful that the light above the priest's door didn't go off before I went in.  After spilling all my deep dark sins and receiving the absolution I don't deserve, I stood up to leave......and realized the door was open.  Not open as in "oops the doorknob didn't quite click shut".  Open as in "wow, I can see the daily Mass regulars sitting in their pews without touching the doorknob".  And if I could see them, I'm guessing at least a few of them could see and hear me.  So.  If you're one of those regulars and we run into each other in the next few weeks, just avert your eyes and pretend you don't see me.  I'll do the same.

 

• My kids think I'm a big sinner.  They're right, of course, but I didn't know they knew that yet.  Wednesday evening at the supper table just hours after my open door confession, the following conversation took place:

          Meredith:  Hey Mom, what was that thing you went into today?
          Me:  Huh?  What thing?  Oh, you mean at church?
          Meredith:  Yeah.
          Me:  That's a confessional.
          Meredith:  What do you do in there?
          Me:  I told the priest what my sins were and that I was sorry for them.
          Jocie: Oh! (pause)  THAT'S why you were in there so long.


The Cliff's Notes version (do they still make those?) for busy people: 

• I had 2 surgeries and a have a new med/diet regimen.  I'm healthier than before but I'm not holding my breath on that translating into a new baby.
• Mer's a crazy bike rider so Jon will be in charge of her driving lessons.
• Learn how your life-saving household monitors work before you freak out and make a fool of yourself.
• Always, always, always double check the door to the confessional.  It should be closed before you open your mouth.

I hope you all had a happy, blessed Easter.  Here is a photo of the girls this Easter - unrelated to what I wrote about, but this way the blog header won't show up when I post this on Facebook.  Ten minutes before these were taken, I had better light and happier children.  What I didn't have was the camera set on autofocus like I thought I did.  All the photos turned out blurry.  Live and learn....hmmm, I guess the photo is related.
 

Maybe I'll be back here before Pentecost.  Maybe. No promises this time!