Sunday Funnies....on a Thursday

So I was planning to post all of these snippets of conversations with the girls on a Sunday when everyone is busy with family and not reading blogs.  They are probably only funny to Jon and me and maybe Jon's parents, but it's my blog and I can subject you to whatever boring topic I want.  Today it's dark and rainy and my mood matches.  Time to find something to smile about.  It's possible I'm also posting because my other alternative is to finish cleaning the storage room and the area under the stairs in the basement.

If you're in the mood for reading quotes from other people's children read on.  If not, then close the tab and move on to something more interesting.  That's the nice thing about the internet.  I can babble on and on all I want and no one is feeling like they are trapped on the couch unable to get away from me.

Anyway.  Funny kid conversations.  And commentary from me because...well...I like to talk.  Here you go....

Mer: Happy Smother's Day!
Completely appropriate coming from Meredith as she is clingy and I struggle with clingy.

Jocie:  Meredith, stop spitting.  That’s not nice!

Mer (blowing raspberries): I’m not spitting…. I’m cleaning off my tongue.

Me:  Mer are you picking my flowers again?

Mer: No.

Me:  Then why is there a flower in your hand?

Mer: (long pause) I don’t know.  Hmm.
 

For the last few months, Meredith has been regressing back to two-year-old behavior during church every week.  We've made some changes and it's getting better.  This was the conversation we had prior to the first week of better behavior at Mass.

Me: Are you going to be good at church today?

Mer: Yes!

Me:  And how do you do that?

Mer:  Be disrespectful…...

ONE WEEK LATER...

Me: How are you going to behave at church today?

Mer: Good!

Me: And how do you do that?

Mer:  Be disobedient.

Meredith isn't the only child who struggles with being good around here.  A few nights ago shortly before bedtime, Jocie was sent to time-out for failing to follow directions.

Me:  You need to go to time-out for not following directions.

Jocie(defiantly):  Then I'm SLAMMING the door.

Me (calmly):Then you'll go to bed instead of time-out.

Jocie (just as defiantly):  Then I'm NOT slamming the door.

Snark and sarcasm are my go-to defense mechanisms.  Snarky comments also tend to slip out when people ask silly questions.  I'm working on controlling that.  Sometimes I fail.

Mer: Are we going to eat those muffins?

Me: Nope.  We’re just going to look at them.  Don’t you think that will be fun?
Jocie: Actually we’re going to bake them first and THEN we’ll look at them.
 

I wasn't sure if Jocie was really in on the joke until a few days later, when I overheard this conversation...

Setting: Jocie was playing with felt food cookies.  She was adding sequin "sprinkles" to each frosted cookie when Meredith showed up and snatched the bag of sprinkles.  Jocie blew a fuse and both girls were reminded to find a way to work out their differences. 

Mer:  Tell me how many sprinkles I can have and I'll count them out.

Jocie:  Count to zero.

The city is doing some work on the sidewalks and so our normally busy street is closed off for a few days.   We walked up the street near where they were working yesterday and Meredith learned something new.

Mer:  How come they put a bank up there?

Me:

Mer: How come they put a bank there?

Me:  You mean the orange barricades? What bank??

Mer:  That green one up there in that street.

Me: Oh.  That’s not a bank.  That’s a portapotty.

 

 Meredith likes to sing to herself while she's playing.  I overheard this song the other day while she was coloring in her Sesame Street book.  It was quiet and I wasn't sure I'd heard the words accurately.  When I questioned her about it, she said the words were right, but it was Ernie singing to Cookie Monster.  The tune is The Farmer in the Dell.

Mer/Ernie:  Your mouth is way too big,

                        Your mouth is way too big
                        Your mouth, your mouth, your mouth, your mouth, 

                        Your mouth is way too big.

Me: Mer, you’re kind of crazy!

Mer:  You know……..I AM.

And just to prove it, she sang this while playing a few days ago:

Mer: Ring around the rosie, 

          A pocket full of craaaaa-zy, 

          Ashes, ashes, 

          We all fall down.


And on that note, I'll wrap this up (FINALLY- are you starting to get that trapped on the couch feeling?).  We're going to head outside to ride our bikes to the neighborhood park and try not to incur a head injury while playing on the wet and slippery climbing apparatus.  It's either that or stay inside and read.  Jocie managed to find and check out A Baby Sister For Frances AND Franklin's Baby Sister during today's trip to the library, so I think we'll risk the trip to the park.

Gratuitous unrelated photo so the header doesn't show when I share this post!